A reader writes in,
“One of the hardest things about taking the red pill is that I feel like I can’t be myself at work and around friends and family. I have to bite my lip and keep quiet. How do you handle it?”
This is a fairly common concern. The answer has two components – psychological and practical.
You are afraid of being yourself because you fear rejection. You are afraid that your family and friends will forsake you. You’re trying to rationalize it as something else, but that’s ultimately what’s going on.
Therefore you need to get your mind right. Work on your “inner game” or “frame” or whatever you want to call it. If you fear rejection, your inner game is weak because it means you rely on other people to validate your identity.
Your concern reminded me of a quote about work from Fight Club:
You say things you don’t mean to impress people you don’t like.
Be honest. Do you like your blue pill friends and relatives? Perhaps I’m guilty of projection, but I hate blue pill people.
I view blue pill people with contempt. If you’re a compassionate person, maybe you pity rather than hate them.
Do you even like these people?
Chances are that you do not. What do you have to lose by being yourself? You have nothing to lose but losers, parasites, leeches, and dead weight.
Be yourself. If your views offend them, wish them well on their journey and part ways. This includes your family.
If you do not like these people, why would you fear their rejection? Your fear is irrational, as you fear mice when you aspire to be a lion.
Now you might say that you have to bite your lip at work due to political correctness and HR concerns. If that’s true, I would ask you something:
Are you going to be a CEO of a Fortune 500 company?
If you’re not going to be a CEO, why care if you can get a shit job at some corporation? I could never be hired at Coca-Cola, Pepsi, or State Farm. Some woman in HR would Google my name (there is nothing I’ve said at this blog that I haven’t said in real life or under my real name) and that’d be the end of my job search.
You know what? I don’t give a shit because sitting a cubicle and living in fear of the fatties and losers in HR would be a version of hell.
I haven’t had a W-2 in over 11 years. I’ve been on my own, running my own business for over a decade. There’s no reason you need to work for some shit company.
As with your fear of rejection, your fear of being persona non grata to some shit corporation is irrational.
I have incredibly rich and successful friends and business associates. Many of them think I am a lazy bum and would love to have me working with them. Finding a job would be as easy as making a phone call. This is true even though I do not have a résumé.
Many men agree with what I write and say in real life. The most successful a man is, the more likely he will agree with my message.
It’s only the weak and pathetic who disagree with me. Why do you want to work and associate with the weak? Is it worth swimming in vomit for the chance that you might someday earn six figures?
What does it profit a man, if he gains the money to shop at Ikea and wear khaki pants, and lose his soul?
It takes a while to have the “inner game” to just be true to who you are and recognize that many will reject you. At first the rejection may sting. We probably evolved to fear rejection because we used to live in close knit communities of 150 or so people.
In a small community, rejection could mean the difference between life and death. Piss off a tribe elder and suddenly you’ll have a “hunting accident,” or be forbidden from marrying his daughter.
Now-a-days rejection doesn’t mean anything. Unlike our primitive ancestors, we are not born into a community. We have the power to create our own communities.
When you stop lying about who you are, you will actually have legitimate friendships and business relationships. The people in your life will be there when you need them to be, and you will gladly be there for them when they need you.
Stop pretending to be something you’re not in order to win the approval of people you don’t like.
Read more: Post your life questions in the comments or email them – playdangerously at gmail.