A lot of players have a conscience. We think, “I’m not happy in this relationship, but this girl will kill herself if I dump her.” Instead of doing what’s best for ourselves, we do what is best for a woman.
I stayed in a relationship for far too long. I was afraid of devastating my ex, and so I ate the spoon fulls of shit she brought home every day.
Whenever I tried breaking things off, she freaked. She cried. She was vulnerable. I don’t kick dogs or spit on babies. Hurting a weak creature isn’t my thing.
So I would cave. I’d take her back. She’d then return to bitch mode.
Finally we ended things for good.
Six months later, she was in the best relationship of her life. She and I were bad for each other. Now she is happy.
Although I stayed with her ostensibly for unselfish reasons (“What will she do without me?”), it was actually my male ego that kept me in the relationship.
My male ego made me think I was so special that my ex would just die die die if I left her.
Do you really think you’re so special that she’ll never get over you?
If a girl is attractive, she’ll have forgotten about you in days.
Don’t let your conscience and ego prevent you from being happy. You’re not special. She will get over you.
Go forth and dump her.
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This is an excellent post on a damn fine topic. Like I always tell my friends, “Never forget that the quivering lips begging you not to go, will be wrapped around another man’s cock in 60 days or less.”
LOL! Indeed….
Hey,
I like your point, but it’s a little off target. Yes, she’ll get a new guy but whether or not she gets over you will depend on the new guy.
If he is of equal value she’ll get over it. If he is of higher value she’ll be happy you dumped her, but if you have higher mate value than all her subsequent men she’ll simply get ON with it but will never really get OVER it.
Very true. I broke off with an ex after a 4-year relationship. While we still exchanged texts and phone calls, I finally ended all contact because I didn’t want her to think we could rekindle the fire and prevent her from moving on. A lot depends on your value to her and your hold on the relationship. My ex-girlfriend always thought I was cheating on her, even if I rarely did, and was constantly jealous of any female interaction I had. She subsequently went out with other guys, but told me that she couldn’t respect them. Such is the power of alpha love.
Btw, once that love is gone, she will dump your ass without a tinge of remorse. What D&P describes as the guilt and pain of not wanting to emotionally scar a person who you’ve cared deeply for in the past is the province of men. Women will throw you off the plane with GLEE once they’ve found (but “only” once they’ve found) that new alpha ass.
Excellent post. And Professor, devastatingly true comment.
If a girl is attractive, she’ll have forgotten about you in days.
And if she isn’t attractive, why is that your problem, and what the fuck are you doing with her in the first place.
Great post. It really is selfishly protecting our own ego.
My conscience used to be my weakest point back in my beta days. I’m still too much of a nice guy with certain girls but i guess i can live with that.
Stop making excuses and become a better man by constantly challenging yourself. At least try to do it. In other words, stop being too much of a nice guy with ANY girl.
Another great post Danger!
Besides, when you dump a girl you get that unique power only exes who dumped her have. In other words, you can always go back to that well if you really want to.
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Good topic and matches my experience fully.
You will often see same girl in 3-6 month dating another guy and looking very happy.
“Btw, once that love is gone, she will dump your ass without a tinge of remorse. What D&P describes as the guilt and pain of not wanting to emotionally scar a person who you’ve cared deeply for in the past is the province of men.”
This is what I remind myself of when it’s time to break something off.
-She’ll get over it
-Women are ruthlessly self-interested in the romantic realm; if the shoe was on the other foot, she wouldn’t waste a second dropping my ass
It’s funny how the path to game and status as a high-value man is sometimes through aping the mental processes of women (plate-spinning, projecting scarcity, assuming the prize). Women act like it’s bad when a man exhibits total self-interest, when in reality they’re just complaining that someone else has cribbed their gameplan.
This reminds me of this kid in school who complained to the teacher that everyone was cheating, only to get caught cheating himself. Cheating was only advantageous when you’re the only one (or one of a select few) doing it. Convincing others to play by the rules while you don’t is the only way to keep this advantage. Women are just mad that the playing field is being evened out.
My first ex-wife was out banging and slammin’ within three months after our 10 year marriage when tits up. She even called me up one night when she was drunk and had just gotten fucked by a guy quite a few years her senior. I wished her well. I was getting a blow job during the phone conversation.from a girl quite a few years my junior.
And make sure that you DO break up with her, not the other way round. Have written on this: http://3rdmilleniummen.wordpress.com/2012/07/16/ways-to-get-over-a-girl-part-1/
Good post and spot on – she’ll move on easier than you think. Better to be straight up about it, which it took me a long time to come to grips with.
Perfect post.