The two pillars of feminism are narcissism and entitlement. As American men are feminized, American men are as unhappy as women.

Narcissism is mistakenly interpreted to mean vanity. If that were true, there would be no fat or ugly narcissists. Rather than denoting vanity, narcissism is the belief that the world exists for me and me alone and that any craving is therefore morally virtuous and deserving of immediate satisfaction. (American obesity explained in a sentence: I’m entitled to indulge whatever craving my body feels.)

Consider the attitudes of many American men – even men who read game blogs and thus who are trying to “unplug” from mainstream thought. Men are always bitching (note that bitching is a feminine world; real men don’t bitch) about this stuff:

• Clubs suck.
• American women suck.
• My friends suck.
• Learning game sucks.
• Life sucks.
• Spending money on dates sucks.
• Going to the gym sucks.
• New York City sucks.

If you want to understand the narcissism epidemic, add for me to each of those sentences. You then understand that American men are not bitching about the state of affairs qua the state of affairs (none of us are that enlightened) but instead are bitching bout the state of affairs qua how that impacts me.

The truth is that while American women suck in general, there are plenty of guys pulling hot ass. Some of us have legit friends who have our backs when needed. Some of us are legit friends who are there when our friends need us. Some of us have great times in clubs – even clubs in New York.

There is more truth.

If you are out of shape, broke, have no game, have no personality, have a negative personality, are always bitching about how inferior everyone is to yourself (and telling everyone how superior your are), life will suck for you. Everything and everyone will suck for you.

Life sucks only for you when you feel entitled to happiness.

Most men think that by virtue of “showing up” to life, they should be rewarded with riches and pussy – or at the very least, they are entitled to a decent-looking housewife who fucks them regularly and doesn’t cheat, a 9-5 job (weekends off, natch) that pays enough to sustain a family, 2 kids, dog, and white picket fence.

Why are you entitled to any of this?

In 1912, Americans lived with their extended families in dilapidated homes and walked around shoeless.

In 1992, I had two pairs of jeans to last me an entire school year. I was fat. I got bullied. My mom was mentally ill. We had food stamps.

You’ll rarely hear me bitch because when you are born with little, you feel entitled to nothing. If I wanted to have decent clothes, I had to get away from my hometown. If I wanted to stop being bullied, I had to get tougher than the bullies.

When I focused so much on beating people up that my social skills were lacking. I didn’t have any friends or girlfriends. I read over a 100 books on communication, body language, human interaction, emotional intelligence, human evolution, culture and philosophy. Now things are great.

Life is simple when you realize, “Everything that sucks is my fault. Either my emotional response to the situation is overborne or else I am not doing enough to change my external environment.”

When guys bitch, all I can think is, “Why do you think the world should be any other way? Why should life be different for you? What have you done that entitles you to righteous treatment?”

Oh, that’s right. You exist and therefore are endowed by your Creator with the inalienable right to endless pussy, good friends, cash money, and eternal youth.

Why do you think being born is an accomplishment? Motivated by billions of years of evolution, your dad was driven to inseminate your mom to replicate his genes. You were born. Great fucking job, kiddo. Let’s all sit around and talk about how fucking special that makes you.

After we’re done listening to how much life sucks, guess what: Life will still suck for you.

If you want life to stop sucking, find out where you fucked up. Maybe you’re a shitty person who deserves every bad thing that has happened to you. Maybe you’re a decent person who lacks a life philosophy. Maybe you’re living in the wrong town, have the wrong job, or are dating the wrong girls.

(I used to think I had clinical depression. Then I moved from a shitty flyover state to a Golden Land. Suddenly my depression was cured. A few years later I was unhappy again. Then I got divorced and got happy.)

Accept that you are not entitled to happiness. Accept that if you want to be happy, you must figure out what makes you happy. Make changes.

Or else join a god-damned knitting circle with a bunch of old ladies, because legit men are done listening to how much your life sucks. You’ll never build a solid crew if you yourself suck.

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Haters will often ask, “Why do you read so many self-help books? If the books are so effective, why do you keep reading new ones…Haven’t you already found your answer?”

There are two ways to answer the question. How you answer the question depends on the tone in which it was asked. If it was asked in sincerity, then here’s my actual answer:

Successful, interesting people have taken dozens of different approaches to life. Although I’m confident in myself, I’m not arrogant enough to ignore those who have come before me. Maybe someone has taken a path that will work for me. Life is short. If I find the right book, I could save myself many mistakes.

If it was asked by a hater, take a different approach.

Haters are not allowed in my personal life, but maybe you have a family or co-worker who asks such questions. They aren’t really asking questions, by the way. They are being passive-aggressive cunts.

Instead of calling you out by saying, “You’re wasting your time reading dumb books, bro,” they give themselves cover, “I was just asking you a question!”

Ask the person, “What did you have for lunch last Tuesday?”

The person will say, “I have no idea what you are talking about? How could I remember what I ate?”

Even though you ate something today, you’ll need to eat something tomorrow. The body needs nourishment. The mind also needs continual nourishment.

You should then start asking your questions. “If you think these books are cheesy  perhaps you can give me a recommendation? What are the last five books you have read? Maybe I’ll pick one out of your pile.”

That question will shut down haters.

Here is what you have to understand about haters: They have nothing going on in their lives. Really. Haters aren’t getting laid. They aren’t moving forward in life.

It would be wrong to call them failures, as failures try. Failures are actually legit people, so long as they keep getting back up. As supreme alpha male George S. Patton said, “Success is how high you bounce when you hit the bottom.”

Haters aren’t doing anything other than sitting around in a knitting circle, judging everyone. Haters are indistinguishable from gossiping old women.

If you go into a successful person’s library, you’re going to see the same “cheesy” self-help books. You’re going to see titles like Think and Grow Rich; The Five Pieces; Tony Robbins titles; etc.

If the haters were right about those books, then why do so many successful people recommend them? Are these successful people delusional, unlike the enlightened haters?

Haters aren’t reading anything. Ignore the haters. Do not interact with haters. If a friend asks you a cunty, passive-aggressive question, end the friendship before they lower your average.

Build a legit crew of guys who are too building themselves up to have time to tear you down.

Also, if your family sucks, cut them off.

I have a brother in prison. I haven’t talked to him in over a decade. He’s a piece of shit. Why would I have him in my life? If all you can say is, “Because your parents made the selfish, biologically-driven decision to reproduce,” then you have failed.

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This really does cover it, doesn’t it?

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It was my junior year in high school. Like most nights, I was at a friend’s house smoking weed. After smoking some especially good weed, time stopped.

I looked around the room. “This is what’s to become of me?”

My friends would call. I wouldn’t call them back. I summarily ended a relationship with 5 of my closest friends.

I was too young to realize it, but I had stumbled upon a major pillar of life success.

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. - Jim Rohn

Consider, for example, this study on fat people:

Wondering why your waistline is expanding? Have a look at those of your friends. Your close friends can influence your weight even more than genes or your family members, according to new research appearing in the July 26 issue of The New England Journal of Medicine. The study’s authors suggest that obesity isn’t just spreading; rather, it may be contagious between people, like a common cold.

That may seem abstractly shocking. How could having fat friends make me fat? They don’t peer pressure me into eating.

We are what we do. We are not what we think, or what we feel, or what we say, we are what we do. – Gordon Livingston

A person didn’t just become fat, by the waving of some magician’s wand. The fat person chose to be fat. He made bad choice after bad choice. The person is fat because of what he does.

Your four fat friends call you to go out to eat, and you agree. The fat guys are not going to hit up a sushi joint. they’re going to want to go to Marconi Grill or Cheesecake Factory.

Because you’ve been conditioned to be polite, you’re going to eat at a shit restaurant with these people. Because of the framing and anchoring cognitive biases, your food choice will be based on what your fat friend orders. “I’ll eat some spinach and artichoke dip, as that’s not nearly as bad as the appetizer platter he ordered.”

Suddenly your own waistline has swelled. You might not be as fat as your four friends, but they have made you fatter.

The opposite is true. If your friends are fit, you’ll be fit, too. On a Saturday afternoon, your friends will be at the gym and then eating light meals. If you want to hang with them, you’re going to go where they want to go.

Suddenly you’re in better shape.

If you’re out with guys who approach women, you’re going to approach more women. Even if you don’t approach as often as your friends, you’ll still have access to more women than you would if your guys were cowardly beta bitches who tremor at the sight of a beautiful woman. Your average notch count will increase, simply by virtue of hanging out with players.

My table scraps are better than most men’s meals.

Having a legit crew will raise you up. The problem with most men is that they refuse to break up with shitty friends. Guys will complain that their friends are mooching, or not buying drinks, or hiding out when the check arrives.

A friendship is a garden. You must water the flowers and pull out the weeds.

If you hang out with losers, you will become a loser. If you hang out with winners, you will become a winner.

If I had stayed in that house smoking weed, I’d be stuck working some shit job in a shit down town, married to some shit cow and raising some shit kids.

I decided to “raise my average.”

As with most decisions, it’s one we must reaffirm often. I always tell myself, “Raise your average.” If a guy is slowing my roll, he’s out.

But don’t just look at your friends. Look in a mirror.

Raising your average means stepping up your own game. Success is a virtuous circle. The tighter your game is, the tighter your friends’ game will be.

Everyone will bring everyone up. Or everyone will bring everyone down:

When a single crab is put into a lidless bucket, they surely can and will escape. However, when more than one share a bucket, none can get out. If one crab elevates themself above all, the others will grab this crab and drag’em back down to share the mutual fate of the rest of the group.

Get away from people who will bring you down. Get them out of your life, and no situation in life will seem inescapable.

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Men get hung up on unimportant questions. Guys are always asking whether something is alpha or beta. Alpha and beta are means to an end. If being a beta gets you what you want out of life, who cares if you’re not alpha?

The question reminded of a wonderful parable:

A Philosophy professor picked up a large empty jar and proceeded to fill it with large rocks. He then asked his students if the jar was full? They unanimously agreed that the jar was full.

Then the professor picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He asked his students again if the jar was full. Again, they unanimously agreed that the jar was full.

Then the professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

“Now,” the professor said, “I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things: your family, your partner, your friends, your health, your children, and things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.”

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Relatedly: What is rape?

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We evolved to view the world through the lens of Newtonian physics. We only see radical movement. We only notice significant change.

We cannot comprehend what happens to our bodies on a cellular level. How can we? “The average 70 kg adult human body contains approximately 6.7 x 1027 atoms.”

On the quantum level, your body is in continuous motion. Atoms are moving and changing. Your body is constantly rebuilding itself or destroying itself. Your brain is changing.

You are the builder.

Whatever you ate today is now part of your body. Did you eat protein and lots of detoxifying vegetables? If so, your body is becoming stronger, cleaner, and healthier. If not, your body is becoming a toxic waste dump.

You are the builder.

Whatever you thought today is part of you consciousness. Did you meditate on negative experiences? If so, you have built yourself into a negative person. Your brain is flexible plastic. You can mold and shape it; you can expand it; you can shrink it.

You are the builder.

Did you go to the gym, forcing your muscles and ligaments to endure heavy weights? Did you force blood to carry nutrients throughout your cardiovascular system? Did you sweat out toxins?

You are the builder.

Reading books is lifting weights for the mind. Did you read a book that made your brain hurt?

You are the builder.

Did you tell yourself that you will be rich, successful, and strong? Did you focus on your Philosophy, Attitude, Activity, Results, Lifestyle? Did you ignore negative people and haters? If so, you have built your mind into a machine that will seek success.

You are the builder.

Did you hang out with positive, driven people? If so, you’ve built a strong safety net. You’ve built a collection of people who will be there for you in your time of need and who will inspire you to greatness.

You are the builder.

You are building yourself brick-by-brick, atom-by-atom, day-by-day, year-by-year, person-by-person, book-by-book, weight-by-weight.

You are the builder.

Once you reject the notion that “life happens” and accept that you are the builder, ask yourself:

What are you building?

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BravoPUA is an online dating coach, former firearms instructor, and all around good guy. In this video he shows how you can use non-lethal force to defend yourself against an armed madman. (Here’s the flashlight he recommends using.)

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[UPDATE: LOL, guys, this is not my story. It's from a reader - hence the use of quotation marks.]

Scary:

“This was awhile go, I went out with a friend to meet up with a girl he knew who was going out for her bday, since she had a table and bottle service at some nicer club. Me and my friend got pretty fucked up on vodka and oxy’s before we left. I knew the girl, she was a cute Asian chick, and I knew she had cute friends. One of her friends I’ve never met was there, like 5’8, Chinese, fucking hot (looked like some kpop singer). The girl I knew introduced us, and we hit it off immediately, I kept drinking, I think I prolly popped another Oxy, I was pretty faded.

“I remember her saying like twice “did you know I’m a man” she was hammered too, and I thought it was a joke and would respond with something like “fuck you” and she’d laugh. Were there signs? I dunno, maybe she was grinding against me too hard when we danced, when she grabbed my hand to go to the bar/outside for a smoke, maybe her grip was a little too strong. Maybe when we kissed she was too forceful and lacked that female sensuality. I was too gone to notice.

“When we left the club she came back to my place, she had some coke so I did like 2 lines. I was so fucking horny, and fucked up. We just started going at it, I took her pants off, and there was this shriveled black thing. I forgot what our exact conversation was, I was too fucked up, I remember her being embarrassed and saying she told me and she didn’t think I cared, I was shocked but also too horny and fucked up to say no and I already went too far. We kept going at it, and one thing I remember is her pushing her shriveled little prick into my face when she was deepthroating me, in the 69 position. I kept trying to move away from it, but I eventually just gave in and let it penetrate my mouth. I remember tears coming down my face a little when I vaguely realized what I was doing, it had this weird chemically, salty taste.

“She eventually took a cab home, and I fell asleep. The next day I woke up like 3 in the afternoon, not wanting to believe what happened, but that hint of chemical taste in my mouth reminded me what happened. I was depressed about this for awhile, I sorta stopped associating with the group involved in this story out of shame. I stopped with the drug use since then also, I still feel like shit typing this out.

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